College Seeker: The Inevitable Adventure of Depressed Mind

I don't know if this is a thing, but it definitely makes me question my life. I have this issue where I get really terrified of what others think slash say about me, I know there are lots of encouraging words for this problem but still I heard it. I heard what people said, this and that. Also, I fear failure, a lot. I fear about failing my parents, family, friends, and whoever I know in my life. I know it's okay to fail in your exam, your class, driving test, and etc. because it's something that we usually get the next chance to succeed. For me, failing an exam means I have to avoid my dad because I couldn't imagine how he'd response to my exam score. I know he won't shout at me, he'd try to examine what did he do wrong that I failed exam, and sure it's never been a nice situation. Sometimes, I wonder what is it that makes me such a daughter, not smart enough to succeed, something is lacking and I dont know what.

As for now, I have graduated from high school and I'll go to next level of my academic state. I dont know what will I do with my life or what will my life be in next ten years. I remember telling my friend that five years later I will live my life working on something that I love, so does he. Therefore, I applied a form for this college that provides my-inner-interest department. Say that I expect too much, it's a wishful thinking, a temporary dream, or whatsoever. The first attempt failed, I failed myself and my parents. I told myself that I have to over it, it's done. Now, the second attempt. This one is a huge scale selection. Still the result is not confirmed yet. I really do hope that this is the one. I still have this alternate option, I call it the #3. I passed this test to go to this #3 college which I'm grateful for. The problem is that I applied for the not-so-interested department. My parents are okay with it, but I have some doubts whether it works out or not in the future. Will I make it or not? Too bad, it doesnt stop there. I also have the #4, this one also a big scale selection and it definitely the exact opposite of my interest, I have no idea why I agreed to apply for this. My parents told me if I passed the #4, I'll get a job easily and if not I still look employable, like seriously. It's now all about looking well clever and employable, I'm so sad.

Here the spiral thoughts cramming my mind,why is this have to be so complicated? Why did I apply to #4 when there's nothing to make me interested? Why would I do with #3 if it's not what I want? What if I spent my next year as #3 freshman and I have no idea what I've been doing all that year? What if I end up with the #4? Will I survive? What will I do with my life? Will I make it as a functional human being? If I make it to the second attempt, I'll definitely be thankful and grateful. I wish I make it. I hope, I do.

Wooden Horse

Hai, halo semu----

------------- beeep beeep

Karena jujur doang ga cukup, kita perlu................
*drum rolls* dum dum tak tak dzing!!

CERDAS nan PINTAR

jadi gini, kalo kamu mau lulus segala macem ujian seperti misalnya ujian sekolah, ujian nasional, ujian bersama masuk perguruan tinggi, ujian hidup ataupun ujian masuk surga kalian ga cukup berbekal jujur aja [tapi tetep, jujur itu penting, oke ;)] kalian juga perlu mendayagunakan otak kalian sedemikian rupa supaya bisa jadi orang yang cerdas.


What am I writing about, I dont even understand omg

posting pertama tahun kuda kayu kali ini disponsori oleh try out kimia dan matematika besok pagi yang menuntut untuk dijamah dan dipahami.

You probably wondering -or not- why I put so much gifs about this guy. The reason is that he likes pokemon, totoro, kill bill, and anime!! Look he has totoro doll hahahahaha so funniiii!!! His hair is his trademark hahahaha

HOLIDAY

Musim liburan emang musim yang paling dinanti pelajar. Musim dimana pelajar akan mengisi kegiatannya dengan memenuhi plaza-plaza, bioskop, caffee, resto cepat saji, toko dvd, dan masih banyak spot lainnya. Beberapa malah pergi liburan luar kota, luar negeri, bahkan luar angkasa. Luar biasa!  Nah liburan kali ini kegiatan saya temanya adalah "Rumah, Sekolah, dan Kota Sekitar"

Kenapa Rumah? Ya soalnya kalo ga sekolah pasti saya selalu ada dirumah terus. Sebagai anak yang cinta kepada orang tua, saya menggantikan ibu saya cuci piring, ngepel, jemur baju, masak nasi dan hal aneh lainnya yang biasa dikerjain ibu saya. Jadi, selain kita berpahala, kita juga olah raga lo lumayan bakar kalori. Habis kelar ngerjain yang tadi saya baru boleh main internet sepuas hati.

Kenapa sekolah? Ngga, saya ga bawa buku pelajaran. Saya latihan angklung buat demo MOS. Rajin kaaaan? Iya, saya harus tahu diri kalo jadwal latihannya mepet jadi ya harus rajin. Ya gitu deh. Kita -ceileh- ceritanya mau menampilkan lagu This Love-nya Maroon 5 sama Yamko Rambe Yamko jadi ya.... kudu rajin. Apalagi sekarang udah H-3 hahahahaha maafkan anggotamu ini pak ketua~

Tadi ada Mas Eko, kakak kelas yang luar biasa multitalenta dan multifungsi. Segala yang dibawa sama Mas ini selalu bikin anak-anak anabel terheran-heran, dari bawa kipas anyaman, bawa kotak isi hadiah, bikin stempel, bikin partitur someone like you yang super besar, dan masih banyak benda yang aku lupa bahkan belum saya temukan. Mas yang satu ini emang WOW. Terus tadi Mas Eko bawa keresek isinya pin-pin gitu ini nih penampakannya!!

Maap ya Mas, ini aku buka dari bungkusnya hehe

Pesan dari "Siapa ya..."

Ini diimpor langsung dari Saung Udjo, Bandung, Jawa Barat, Indonesia tanah air beta. Soon-to-be-Mahasiswa ITB ini habis jalan-jalan di kota kembang, yaiyalah orang nanti sekolahnya disana-_-
Ya gitu deh. Anabel berasa bukan anabel tanpa Mas yang satu ini hahaha

 Kenapa kota sekitar? Sebut saja Sidoarjo. Men, sekolah saya itu pinggirnya perbatasan Surabaya-Sidoarjo. Jadi ya gitu deh. Awal liburan kemarin juga saya ke Malang sama temen sekelas, perpisahan gitulah. Sewa villa, ke BNS, menghadiri Xiaga Award, Outbond minus tubing, menjadi saksi didirikannya Komblosuma, bakar-bakar, main karambol, main mercon... dan ya gitu.. deh..
Terus sehari setelah saya pulang dari Malang, saya sama keluarga juga pergi ke ujung timur Jawa Timur untuk menjenguk nenek saya. Bisa dibilang liburan bisa dibilang a short visit.
Gara-gara jadwal yang serba dempet gini, saya jadi defisit pakaian, jadi pulang-pulang saya langsung cuci-jemur-setrika.

so yeah, bye!

Random 5

I'm on my soon-ending of year 11! It's a lie if I say this year is flat because obviously not.
Now let me tell you my current crush. He's a 187 cm tall model with freckle on his pale face.

Yes, he smokes.

SMOKING SMOKING SMOKING HEHEHE

It took more an hour to choose his pictures because all of them are incredibly awe-hand-some.
All pictures taken from tumblr. Go to naver and you'll find moreeeee!!

Resume Liburan Usek

I can't believe this day finally come! I mean like sh*t tomorrow is school and I'm not enjoying this holiday yet. All I did were sleeping, watching tv, watching videos, napping, eating, stalking, facebooking, skypin', tweeting, and start all over again. Thankyou for my friends for ignoring my message and not takin it serious while all I want is messing around, together. Jezzz. You can describe me as mammoth then.

I stalk everyone mostly in afternoon since my bro is busy at school with his exam. Couldn't be more happy that the fact E.S students dont get their holiday. I win. Nah, I stalk my friends, friend of my friends, my idol crush, Devon, Zachary, Davedays, and manymooooooore.

Lately Devon and Davedays had post their vine on twitter and it's ridiculously funny(?) especially thevine where Devon's eyes got teary when listening to Set Fire to the Rain. SOOOOO hilarious.